with a strawberry stick out of his head.
The doctor says il give you some cream to put on that!
A man walks into the doctors......
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Re: A man walks into the doctors......



Life is your's to do with as you wish- do not let other's try to control it for you. Count Dusak- 1345.
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Re: A man walks into the doctors......
'with a strawberry stick out of his head.
The doctor says il give you some cream to put on that!'
When I first heard this joke (a very long time ago) it
was 'stuck up his bum .... '
The doctor says il give you some cream to put on that!'
When I first heard this joke (a very long time ago) it
was 'stuck up his bum .... '
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Re: A man walks into the doctors......
Well you didn't hear it a very long time ago then did you?Remus wrote:'with a strawberry stick out of his head.
The doctor says il give you some cream to put on that!'
When I first heard this joke (a very long time ago) it
was 'stuck up his bum .... '
- Dusak
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Re: A man walks into the doctors......
Strawberries
Little Jimmy was sitting in class, listening attentively to his teacher, Mrs. Whitman.
"Now, class," said Mrs. Whitman, excitedly. "Today, we're going to learn about fruits and vegetables!" She looked around the room and her gaze landed on Jimmy's excited smile. "Jimmy, what is your favorite fruit?"
Jimmy answered without hesitation. "I like strawberries."
Mrs. Whitman gasped suddenly. "Jimmy!" Her eyes burned with fury. "I'm surprised at you! Go to the principal's office right this minute!"
Jimmy was confused, but did as he was told. A minute later, he sat before Principal Shepherd.
"Jimmy," the principal said, "you're usually so good. What brings you here?"
"My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries, so she sent me here," Jimmy explained.
Principal Shepherd's eyes grew wide with shock. "How dare you?! You are hereby suspended! Get out!"
Jimmy arrived home and his mother was, of course, surprised to see him. "Jimmy," she said. "What are you doing home so early?"
Jimmy looked up at her with bewildered eyes. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home."
His mother immediately slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever.... Go to your room! Just wait 'til your father gets home!"
Jimmy headed up the stairs, rubbing his red cheek. A few hours later, his father came home. He slowly opened the door to Jimmy's bedroom. "Hey, sport," he said, softly. He sat down on Jimmy's bed. "Want to tell me what happened today?"
Jimmy sat up. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for you."
Jimmy's father jumped up. "What the hell?!" he shouted. "You ungrateful little b*****d! You are no son of mine! Get out of this house!"
Jimmy sadly packed a suitcase and went out into the night. He walked and walked until he finally reached a section of town he didn't know. There was graffiti on every building and half-dressed women on every corner.
"Hey!" he heard suddenly. He whirled around to see five huge guys with their arms crossed, looking very threatening indeed. Oh no! Jimmy thought. It's a gang!
"What the hell you doin' out here fat boy?" asked the biggest gang member.
Jimmy answered softly. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for my dad and my dad kicked me out of the house."
"You got a lot of nerve, squishy!" shouted the leader. "Let's get him!" And with that, the gang descended on poor Jimmy and beat the living daylights out of him.
When they had finished and dispersed, Jimmy sat alone on the curb. Why was everyone acting so strangely. He was scared and confused and tears began to fall.
Suddenly a police car pulled up to him. Jimmy thought he was saved. An officer stepped out of the car and knelt down to talk to Jimmy. "Hey, buddy," he said. "What are you doing out here all alone?"
Jimmy smiled through the tears. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for my dad and my dad kicked me out of the house and then I met some gang members and they beat me up."
The officer took out his radio. "I'm gonna need back-up," he said, and he tackled Jimmy. Before poor Jimmy knew it, he was in handcuffs in the back of the police car.
Jimmy's day in court was finally here and he stood, shaking with nervousness, before the judge. Judge Williams peered down at him with accusing eyes. "Young man," he said. "This appears to be an extraordinary case. Please explain to me what happened."
Jimmy took a deep breath. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for my dad and my dad kicked me out of the house and then I met some gang members and they beat me up and then the police came and arrested me and now I'm in court." Afterwards, he nearly collapsed from lack of oxygen.
The jury went out to deliberate and came back after only to minutes. The foreman stood and said, "We find the defendant guilty of this heinous crime."
"And rightfully so!" said the judge with a bang of the gavel. "Take this punk to jail across the street!"
And so, two police officers cuffed Jimmy's hands behind his back and led him out of the courtroom. Outside, as they were crossing the street, the two officers went ahead of Jimmy. Suddenly a huge strawberry delivery truck came out of nowhere. It plowed right over the two policemen. Jimmy saw the horrible accident and wasted no time. He stole the handcuff key from one of the officers' bodies, undid the cuffs and bolted. He was never seen or heard from again.
The morel of this tale? Always look both ways when you're crossing the street!
Little Jimmy was sitting in class, listening attentively to his teacher, Mrs. Whitman.
"Now, class," said Mrs. Whitman, excitedly. "Today, we're going to learn about fruits and vegetables!" She looked around the room and her gaze landed on Jimmy's excited smile. "Jimmy, what is your favorite fruit?"
Jimmy answered without hesitation. "I like strawberries."
Mrs. Whitman gasped suddenly. "Jimmy!" Her eyes burned with fury. "I'm surprised at you! Go to the principal's office right this minute!"
Jimmy was confused, but did as he was told. A minute later, he sat before Principal Shepherd.
"Jimmy," the principal said, "you're usually so good. What brings you here?"
"My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries, so she sent me here," Jimmy explained.
Principal Shepherd's eyes grew wide with shock. "How dare you?! You are hereby suspended! Get out!"
Jimmy arrived home and his mother was, of course, surprised to see him. "Jimmy," she said. "What are you doing home so early?"
Jimmy looked up at her with bewildered eyes. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home."
His mother immediately slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever.... Go to your room! Just wait 'til your father gets home!"
Jimmy headed up the stairs, rubbing his red cheek. A few hours later, his father came home. He slowly opened the door to Jimmy's bedroom. "Hey, sport," he said, softly. He sat down on Jimmy's bed. "Want to tell me what happened today?"
Jimmy sat up. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for you."
Jimmy's father jumped up. "What the hell?!" he shouted. "You ungrateful little b*****d! You are no son of mine! Get out of this house!"
Jimmy sadly packed a suitcase and went out into the night. He walked and walked until he finally reached a section of town he didn't know. There was graffiti on every building and half-dressed women on every corner.
"Hey!" he heard suddenly. He whirled around to see five huge guys with their arms crossed, looking very threatening indeed. Oh no! Jimmy thought. It's a gang!
"What the hell you doin' out here fat boy?" asked the biggest gang member.
Jimmy answered softly. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for my dad and my dad kicked me out of the house."
"You got a lot of nerve, squishy!" shouted the leader. "Let's get him!" And with that, the gang descended on poor Jimmy and beat the living daylights out of him.
When they had finished and dispersed, Jimmy sat alone on the curb. Why was everyone acting so strangely. He was scared and confused and tears began to fall.
Suddenly a police car pulled up to him. Jimmy thought he was saved. An officer stepped out of the car and knelt down to talk to Jimmy. "Hey, buddy," he said. "What are you doing out here all alone?"
Jimmy smiled through the tears. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for my dad and my dad kicked me out of the house and then I met some gang members and they beat me up."
The officer took out his radio. "I'm gonna need back-up," he said, and he tackled Jimmy. Before poor Jimmy knew it, he was in handcuffs in the back of the police car.
Jimmy's day in court was finally here and he stood, shaking with nervousness, before the judge. Judge Williams peered down at him with accusing eyes. "Young man," he said. "This appears to be an extraordinary case. Please explain to me what happened."
Jimmy took a deep breath. "My teacher asked me what my favorite fruit was and I said it was strawberries and she sent me to the principal's office and the principal sent me home and then mom sent me to my room to wait for my dad and my dad kicked me out of the house and then I met some gang members and they beat me up and then the police came and arrested me and now I'm in court." Afterwards, he nearly collapsed from lack of oxygen.
The jury went out to deliberate and came back after only to minutes. The foreman stood and said, "We find the defendant guilty of this heinous crime."
"And rightfully so!" said the judge with a bang of the gavel. "Take this punk to jail across the street!"
And so, two police officers cuffed Jimmy's hands behind his back and led him out of the courtroom. Outside, as they were crossing the street, the two officers went ahead of Jimmy. Suddenly a huge strawberry delivery truck came out of nowhere. It plowed right over the two policemen. Jimmy saw the horrible accident and wasted no time. He stole the handcuff key from one of the officers' bodies, undid the cuffs and bolted. He was never seen or heard from again.
The morel of this tale? Always look both ways when you're crossing the street!
Life is your's to do with as you wish- do not let other's try to control it for you. Count Dusak- 1345.
-
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