TROLLS Part two (just for you HEPZIBAH)

[Dusak]

.....and so the Trolls message crossed the globe as it continued to contaminate and corrupt humanity with its vile thoughts, accusations and lies.

Far, far away in a small building called a squat, there sat a human male, in the early throws of understanding this new technology. This creature sat quietly, moving his hand up and down on his little mouse, tapping out his Morse code like commands as a little creature called Pack Man consumed its fellow creatures. He had, so it seemed, remained for time immemorial in this position. Then the phone rang. He knew its sound, but not its location as he searched, relentlessly beneath the mounds of discarded fast food containers and back issues of Get a Life. He found the elusive contraption and said ''Hello?''

There was a slight pause before he received a reply. It was his longtime friend Geek. He asked if his mate Kieth had read the e-mail that he had sent, Keith had replied no, he saw no point in using a facility such as this as he could miss out on a high score on his space invaders. Geek went on to explain that there was something on the internet that was coursing problems and creating havoc. It was called a Troll. Geek went on to say that it seemed to have originated in a place called Egypt and people like them should do something about it to help protect the innocent and create a website like his friend was creating that would help guarantee the freedom of speech to the masses and, at the same time you could control what you, not they, wanted to say. Keith had asked Geek about this other friends idea, but Geek told him that he couldn't do this as they wanted to remain Anonymous. Kieth called his friend a moron for thinking that this would work. But Geek said no, it was called an oxymoron, so its OK. We could call these rules, so every one would have to obey. A bit like one of them Daleks. After Geek had suddenly been cut off, Keith began to think about what his friend had said and as he like Daleks, he began to think that this could be the beginnings of a grand idea, especially as the police and bailiffs were about to kick him out of his squat.

A few weeks later, now living under the railway bridge, he had found a Help the Aged shop and bought a well used Lonely Planet guide to see where exactly Egypt was. He eventually had scraped enough money together to purchase a one way ticket. Most of this money had come from the sale of his much beloved tri-ped bicycle which was complete with the original front attached basket-weave shopping basket and red bell. He settled in an area called Luxor and soon became friends with an ex-female member of the German SS in hiding known as Conrad Shitenhousen. This person had suffered a leg injury while she had attempted to, on local advise as a way of making a fast easy profit, go Crocodile fishing. An attempt that proved near fatal, hence the limp. Keith made friends with this, some would say, untrustworthy individual, but a friendship was formed. The only problem they faced as Conrad Shitenhousen had no teeth, she loosing her false ones when spitting them out in surprise when the crocodile had lunged at her, could not pronounce Keith, it coming out as Keefy. And so the nickname had stuck.

They had a close relationship over the next year or so, even moving in together, but Keefy began to feel uncomfortable with this arrangement as Conrad Shitenhousen used to wander around the mud-brick hut they had bought as a first buy as estate agents, naked, displaying the rows of indentations the crocodile had given her. All this time Keefy had been working on his 'baby' as he liked to call it, the website to beat all. But he was also growing more suspicious of Conrad Shitenhousen's motives towards him thinking that she planed to steel what he had painstakingly created. So they parted company. Little is know as to what happened to Conrad Shitenhousen, but rumor suggests that she had discovered a money skimmer of a business opportunity.

Keefy had pondered many long hours concerning a name for his 'baby'. A few of his many ideas ranged from, Luxorisme.com, Iamegypt.com and motorbikes4all.com. Then he had had a brainwave and decided to call it Luxor4me.com. A few and trusted friends had pointed out that some of these names sounded to much like me,me,me.com. Keefy had seemed a bit perplexed at this comment, stating that it was about him as it was his 'baby'. But he was eventually persuaded to re-think the name as it was going to be one of information, advise, help and recommendations. That the site had to give the impression that it was open to everyone and not just an individual. So Keefy had relented and called it L4U.

He had eventually designed a well liked and popular internet site. But he saw problems with his creation from the beginning and so remembered his conversation with his friend Geek. There must be rules. Especially to keep this known troublemaker Troll at bay. But what Keefy had not realized, Troll was legion. They were clever, taking on the guise of the innocent, using many names, speaking many tongues. They infiltrated the system, using subtlety and guile to gain the trust of the trusting. Many of these incursions are defeated at their birth, for Keefy is an unrelenting observer, he sits, covered in dust and cobwebs, beginning to become entombed under a mountain of discarded cigends as he watches the screen, his finger forever posed above the nuke button in his fight to protect the innocent. But Troll is cleaver and whiley, this is a battle that will offer no quarter, give no respite, and Keefy knew this. So he began to type...''Hello, my name is Keefy and I would like to control.....
And so the battle between God and Evil continues.

A point worth mentioning is that a heroic knight exists, know by the name of Count Dusak DeVille, who is continually on the hunt for these creatures and malcontents, but he works alone, watching, observing until ready to pounce with his finger of truth.

[HEPZIBAH]

Thank you Dusak.

[Goddess]

Surprised Shitenhausen got past the word censor.



The whole worlds descending into a cess pit these days. Shocking.

[Dusak]

Word sensor is English, this it pure German.

[JOJO]

snigger

[Chocolate Eclair]

A little bit like stikenzeupdebummen from the Barrymore Dictionary!

[Phantom]

[Scottishtourist]

Still rabbiting on with this nonsense?
Hey ho,ex-pat asked me to meet for coffee...then chickened out!!!!
Would've been chance to prove that I ain't no troll.....but c'est la vie...the moment came and went...no response!!!
Keep with it Dusak.Us Schizenbaums (Scottish!)really got the measure of you and the physche!
ST (Scottishtroll!) Well where were you all hiding????

[Dusak]

Well it would of helped matters if you had mentioned that you were here. I know some folk recon that I'm of the second sight but alas, this is not so. I would of been quite happy to meet you and chinwag a while. And I say that knowing that I would of had to pay for the drinks as you can take the girl out of Scotland, but not Scotland out of the girl. McTavish 1093.