Werds, Werds, Werds, Werds

[LovelyLadyLux]

“Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a
love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna
fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
A competition to see who can come up with the best is held every
year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission
is posted at the very end.

*When fish are in schools, they sometimes take
debate.
*A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
*When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
*The batteries were given out free of charge.
*A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
*A will is a dead giveaway.
*With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
*A boiled egg is hard to beat.
*When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.
*Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was
resisting
a rest.
*Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
*A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
*When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
*The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
*He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
*When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
*Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
*And the cream of the wretched crop:
*Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.