Quickies

A light-hearted section of Jokes - Text Games - Only In Egypt Photos and Videos - Brainteasers and General Fun Stuff to while away the spare minutes of your day.

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SteveMc
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Quickies

Post by SteveMc » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:19 am

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window.
If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change
supplier I think.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...

Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.

ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY"
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!!!


Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!

In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver,bronze, copper & lead.

An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan! He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s doing well!
Prophets are going through the roof!

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, f@@k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!

An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what
do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'



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Re: Quickies

Post by Bullet Magnet » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:37 pm

Good one's :lol:
There's a time for everyone, if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn.

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Re: Quickies

Post by Dusak » Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:44 pm

The true worth of the forum. :up
Life is your's to do with as you wish- do not let other's try to control it for you. Count Dusak- 1345.