Think you are having a bad day ?

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Winged Isis
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Think you are having a bad day ?

Post by Winged Isis »

Think you are having a bad day ?

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet-suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading....

Still think you're having a bad day ?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran into the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the cigarette butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, dropping the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Still having a bad day ?
Just remember, it couldbe worse..

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a bad day ?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having a bad day ?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.

What?! STILL having a bad day ??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better ?


Carpe diem! :le:

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denisegr
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Re: Think you are having a bad day ?

Post by denisegr »

If true I do hope that flipper man and walkman forgive my howls of laughter :lol:
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles,
but it does ruin today's happiness.
-anonymous

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Dusak
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Re: Think you are having a bad day ?

Post by Dusak »

Well, as your on the topic it saves me posting my bad day today in typical Dusak fashion. I was up early at 6am and as it was chilly I put on my heater to take the chill of the room while I made a cup of tea. Heard a bang, came back into the room and the fire had literally exploded leaving a scorch mark on a very large and what was at the time, expensive carpet.

I had made arrangements to go into Luxor with a friend to visit the bank, buy a new charger as the cat had chewed mine to bits, go and inspect some aluminum window products as per-arranged and do some shopping. As the bus came a friend that I had not noticed said good morning to me from behind, so I turned to shake his hand as my friend got on the bus and it drove off leaving me stood there. My friend shouted for him to stop, which he did but then three women got on and made it full so he drove off again with me still approaching at a pant. My friend had to stop it again so she could get off and wait for another bus with me having paid the 1 pound fare for a fifty meter trip. She was not amused as 1pound is a pound to an Egyptian.

Got of at the bank to draw some money out and had to wait ages as two tourists where arguing at the counter as banks no longer change money for tourists, which was news to me. I get to the counter and they ask me for my passport to draw money out of my account. I stated that every no knows me here as I was the first customer to open an account and I had received two hellos from the staff as I had entered. They refused to give me any money without my passport, new banking rules from Cairo they said. Have you no bank card they asked, so I says yes but the bank put the wrong account number on so it is no good. They ask to see it and search the computer for my account then tell me that this was not my card!!! I was saved by the manager coming through from the back office and seeing to me.

I bought my new charger no problem, straight in and out 10Le, very happy but as I fumbled away trying to get it back into the box outside I cracked my skull on one of those ridiculously low sign posts. I crossed the road dizzily only to be pulled back sharply by my friend as I was nearly flattened by a motorbike I had not noticed.

We decided to walk to the aluminum factory which took about half an hour only to find it closed as the owner had dropped dead that morning. So we walked back and had a very nice meal in the secret garden. Once finished I asked was it OK to pay the bill in 5Le notes as the bank had given me 500Le's worth as they had no twenty's that I had requested. The top couple were OK but the rest looked like they had been dredged from the canal and dried out. And they stank! But Laura was good enough to take them. We then started to walk to the supermarket for my shopping. As we proceeded along the street which was heavy with traffic and hundreds of buses, a walking stick, (I think ST must of cursed me, see earlier post) suddenly shot out and smacked me across the chin. The owner of said stick was blind and he was trying to stop a bus. Its amazing how many people can find other peoples misfortunes to be humorous. Shopping done we left for Karnak which was uneventful if you disregard the drivers death wish. Getting off the bus one of my carrier bags snagged on a bit of metal sticking out from the non existent door frame and caused my lamb chops to cascade onto the floor. So all in all a typical Wallace and Gromit grand day out.

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Re: Think you are having a bad day ?

Post by Winged Isis »

But at least it wasn't boring! :)))

" I was saved by the manager coming through from the back office and seeing to me." My goodness, that does put an interesting slant to the term "personal service!
Carpe diem! :le:

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Winged Isis
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Re: Think you are having a bad day ?

Post by Winged Isis »

Okay, I feel I have recovered enough to tell you my adventures this morning. I must have caught your comedy-of-errors virus through the internet, D. I have heard of computer viruses, but this is ridiculous! :D

I am not making this up... I just wish I'd thought to take photos!

After my early cup of Earl Grey, later I was looking forward to my usual breakfast of a soft-boiled egg with toast soldiers, an orange and a glass of water. As I got my egg from the fridge, I thought "I must tell Mum not to buy any eggs" as I will bring some up when I clear the fridge prior to my departure for Egypt. I will spend a couple of days with her before; I leave my car there, and she is only 20 minutes from the airport.

My egg was ready, so I put it in it's cup and proceeded to cut the top using a little plastic gadget that looks like an oval-shaped donut, about 10cm long and 1cm thick. You place it on top of the egg then squeeze the movable ends towards each other, which push little metal "teeth" in towards the centre of the hole, thereby perforating the egg, so it's easy to lift off the top of the shell.

In theory.

This time, the egg decided to explode, spraying its contents over the front of my dressing gown and the bench top and the hand holding the cutter. As it was hot, I rushed to put my hand under the cold-water tap and nearly tripped on the mat.

Half the egg was salvageable, but I decided to try another. I took one from the fridge and put it on the bench and turned to stop my half-done toast in the toaster as I like it hot. The egg promptly rolled onto the floor and splattered everywhere. You know how hard it is to clean up raw egg, don't you?! I had put it in the same place I always have, and not once before in nearly 20 years I have lived here has an egg tried to escape like this!

Third attempt.

Switched off the toast again. Boiled the egg. Put it in the cup, successfully perforated the top, but as I lifted it off, the whole egg collapsed into the cup, so the shell looked like a tiny mosaic. I had to pick teeny bits of shell out the whole way through. That chicken must have had a vitamin deficiency.

Memo to self: Forget eating healthily, go back to cereal and bottled juice. It'd got to be a whole lot safer! :oo

Memo to Mum: better buy some eggs. :(

PS: I had forgotten about the top of the first egg. I found it in the toaster when I went to reheat my toast. It took several minutes of frantic shaking of the toaster to get it out. The residual heat had turned it to the consistency of leather. Sigh.
Carpe diem! :le:

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Re: Think you are having a bad day ?

Post by Dusak »

The other day I placed four eggs, my last, in my favorite egg pan to boil as I fancied egg mayo sarnies for lunch. Came on here, got lost in the excitement of it all and remembered the eggs 1.20 hours later. Not recommended. Eggs? They can be fiendish things. I have a nice little blue lump on my head after the signpost assault. And as I stated in an earlier post I did require a 'seeing' to so there was a slight bonus to my day. :D

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Re: Think you are having a bad day ?

Post by BENNU »

:urm: I thought I was having a GOOD day... :dance3:

:bs: - Now I'm having a very good day! :tu: