Sexual abuse within the family

[Scottishtourist]

I don't presume to tell anyone how to do their job TT.
And the reason I specifically refer to girls is because that is what original posting referred to.
Teenage girls generally do not require the assistance of anatomically correct dolls to describe what has happened to them.If they are being impregnated as result of abuse,then they have obviously reached puberty and have some awareness of the possible consequences of unprotected sex...be it forced or otherwise!
I'm merely re-iterating the point TB has made.
As a parent,we feel uncomfortable at times knowing that our child is sexually active.We want to protect them from the adult world for as long as possible because all said and done...they are still OUR babies.
To be then faced with the cold fact that someone could steal that innocence from them,especially a family member who has been held in a position of trust is,I would imagine,a parent's worst nightmare.
Social workers,courts,evidence,police are all very important I agree...but they do not get there first!
In most cases it's the staff and hospitals who deal with the "raw"matter.
No,I've never witnessed any child being questioned in court or being interviewed and,I'll admit that (as a mum) I don't think I'd be emotionally strong enough to see that.
As for your views towards medical staff's feelings hardly being top of agenda and your assumptions as to them adopting a professional attitude?Well...maybe that's just reflection of society we all live in now!Someone has to cope with the cleaning up...but as long as it's someone else...then that "someone else"is always open to criticism,whether they are parents or not!

[timetraveller]

You may not think you presume to tell people how to do their jobs ST, but you are blithely criticising the way Social Workers do do their jobs which basically amounts to the same thing. I also believe you are incorrect in your assumption that Hospital staff often get there 'first'. The majority of referrals do not come through hospitals-they are more likely to come through Schools or friends or family members. Moreover, if medical professionals do become aware or suspect that sexual abuse of a child has taken place they are obliged to report the matter to the Police and Social Services without delay. This is established procedure. It is not within the remit of medical professionals to deal with anything other than the possible health issues associated with the abuse. They are not expected to deal with the 'raw' matter as you put it, nor 'cope with the cleaning up'. Just to deal with the medical issues. Any other involvement would be outside of their remit and therefore inappropriate.

And nobody is for one minute questioning the way most parents feel about their children. But both you and Teddyboy have blatantly argued that people who do not have children of their own are ill qualified to act as Childcare professionals, seemingly because they are not 'compassionate' enough or lack empathy with sexually abused children. This is not only complete ROT and totally unsubstantiated, it is also extremely DISCRIMINATORY.

[LovelyLadyLux]

Couple points - "anatomically correct dolls" have long gone the way of the dinosaur and are not at all used in this date and age whilst interviewing victims.

Secondly "vicarious traumatization" is an extremely real manifestation happening to professionals engaged in work with 'victims.'

Thirdly - victims who are telling the most personal intimate and horrific story fo their lives do NOT need to be telling this story to professionals who are reacting emotionally to what is being said. That is to diminish the recounting of the victim. It can make the victim 'feel' the events that have happened to them even more strongly, poignantly and can make the victim feel even more damaged than what has happened to them.

Victims - innocent children who have experienced an event be it by a father, mother, relative or total strange is inalterably changed. Do you have any idea how many times they will have to "tell" their story? And if each time they recount this telling the person they are telling it to appears to be 'feeling it' and "experiencing it' this can make it much more difficult for the victim.

Could you talk to a doctor about a personal private matter if the doctor was 'Ewing' and 'Awing' and "huffing, puffing' and otherwise 'commenting' as you recount your issue? Do you really think that would make it easier to talk? It does not.

Those who investigate NEED to remain objective. It may sound hard but they are NOT there to offer emotional support to the victim. They will NOT be with the victim longterm. A SUPPORTIVE professional WILL be there for the victim. NOT those investigating and/or providing first response be it legal, social, medical. They cannot emotionally become involved or it WILL diminish their own ability to do what they need to do.

On another note since girls in Egypt can be married off at an extremely young age to men old enough to be their great great grandfathers and be subjected to the romantic involvement of these same men they hardly know AND as Egyptian society sanctions this under the laws of the land - then HOW does an Egyptian even recognize 'child abuse' when this form of it is sanctioned under matrimonial law?

[jewel]

AND as Egyptian society sanctions this under the laws of the land - then HOW does an Egyptian even recognize 'child abuse' when this form of it is sanctioned under matrimonial law?

That's a very good point regarding Egyptian society, and it is so that culture, custom and tradition normalise abusive behaviour.

"Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity." (Shaw)

"The perpetual obstacle to human advancement is custom." (J. Mill)

What we may consider to be abusive in our society is perfectly acceptable and " normal" to Egyptians, and vice versa.