Xmas Eav Murder At The Old Manor House.

[Dusak]

''John. Breakfast ready.''

''Coming mom.''

''I think he's busy wrapping our presents. As usual, a rush job. He been writing his crime capers again?'' Peter, Jenny's husband asks.

''The case of the missing dog I think this one is called. Anyway, don't knock it. Its good to have a budding detective in the house. Found your lost car keys didn’t he?''

''He did that. Before they were lost I think. Just to prove his detective skills. I never go into the old coal bunker, too dirty.'' Peter laughed.

John came rushing into the dining-room, making skidding noises punctuated with police siren sounds. He braked sharply at the chair and flopped down for breakfast.

''You working today dad?''

''Not unless I'm called in. I've worked the last two Christmas eves, so hopefully I'll get the full three days off.''

''No, you've worked the last three, and if you do get called in today, our Detective of a son here will be attempting to solve your disappearance and wondering what the new lump in the garden is for.'' Jenny states. ''And while we’re...


''So, what do we have Sargent?''

''Glad to see that you made it Sir.'' Sargent Brown states as he views his snow covered Inspector.

''It was touch and go Brown, an hour on the back of a tractor trying to get here. I think that we'll be spending the night here until the snowploughs reach us. We're completely boxed in. Even the choppers grounded with this lot. Still, nice place this, better than spending Xmas Eve at my gaff with the usual suspects, microwave dinners.''

''Sally did invite you over Sir, like she does every year and you make excuses every time for not being able to come.''

''As bad luck would have it sunshine, I was going to say yes this year, but then this call came through. Makes a change you getting here first.''

''I was on my way home when the call came over concerning a reported assault, so knowing the manpower sent to handle the pile up on the flyover, said I'd stop off, considering the heavy snow. Only fifteen minutes from home. I used to play in these grounds as a kid. I was just about to knock at the door when I received notice from the station not to bother as the caller had rang again to say it was a mistake. As I was already here I decided to have a word with the owner. That's when I heard a scream from upstairs so entered the house to investigate.''

''When you was a kid? When was that then, Last week? Anyway, what have we got?'' Inspector Naylor asked, grinning to himself..

''Whybreak Manor, home of Lady Celia Magdalena Lavender. Husband deceased, no children. Station received a phone call at five pm stating that an assault had taken place. The caller gave the name of White.'' Brown reported.

''That's the problem with Christmas, to much drink, to much slappin' not enough tickle.''

''It's a bit more serious now sir, we have dead people to add to the equation.''

''So who's brown bread then Brown?'' Naylor enquired as his eyes took in the opulent surroundings, grinning at his own age old joke. As usual, Sargent Brown ignored it.

''The caller, Mrs. White, resides at Brook cottage. About a mile or so east of here... a Mr Slater...''

''So what's her connection to the Manor then?''

''Non as such from what I've been told so far. I haven’t had time to ask that many questions'' Brown stated matter of factly. ''Every year at Christmas a few old university friends get together and do a murder solving game over the two days. Doris Grey and her husband Peter were organising the clues this year when they came across body number two, Mr. Slater, another long standing friend of the group. He owns The Back Dog public house in the village. Or he used to. They found him in the sash storage room as I was upstairs investigating the scream. Looks like he had been choked first with a length of thin copper pipe, the type they use for central heating, easily bent, then had both his legs cut off at the knees.''

''What's a sash storage room when its in this home then? Sounds like someone got a little too overenthusiastic to me. Sod the dummy this year, lets go for the real thing. Where are the rest of them?''

'Who sir? The living or the dead?''

''Well the dead are no bleeding good to us are they Sargent, if you pardon the pun.''

''I've told them to stay in the library until we're ready to talk to them. A sash room is were they keep the different coloured sashes that each competing team wares.'' Brown replied with a slight exasperated tone.

''So where was the other body found? Or do we have to follow the clues.'' Naylor asked in another attempt of humour.

Brown again ignored his Inspector, already well used to his failed attempts to make a joke. ''Mrs. Meadows was found in the dining-room. Seemingly dead from blunt force trauma to the head from a croquet mallet. Or at least the blood-splatter pattern indicates such. We'll have to wait until forensics can get here.''

''Don't think the butler did it do you?'' Naylor asked with a grin of his face.

''I doubt it sir as the butler, James Hogarth, is swinging from a length of scarlet sash in his pantry.''

''Suicide perhaps, brought on by a guilty conscious.'' Naylor suggests.

''That’s highly unlikely sir as he has a very large carving knife sticking out of his chest.''

''Perhaps he had second thoughts and tried to cut himself down and the knife slipped.'' Naylor quipped to himself as he helped himself to a biscuit from a left out plate. ''What about the screamer upstairs then?''

''Mrs. White, found in one of the guest rooms. At first glance it seems that a large oak shelving unit had fallen on top of her, the top shelf severing her head as they both hit the floor. Her head had rolled over to the opposite side of the room due to the slight incline of the rooms floor. The rest of the guests came up to investigate the crash, thus finding her on the floor. The funny thing is, the call received by the station gave the callers name as Mrs. White. When I had first arrived, no one knew of any such incident concerning an assault.''

''There are many different definitions to the term assault Brown, maybe she had second thoughts. Which was probably not as bad as her last thought. Anyway, lets go and speak to the others.''

As they entered the library, Brown pulled up short. ''There’s someone missing Sir, there should be six in here. Where’s the young man that was here.'' Sargent Brown demanded to know.

An elderly woman looked towards Brown with obvious contempt etched on her face.

''That would be Oliver, the house boy. Cook gave him leave to go to the kitchen as he once again complained of an empty stomach. He left by the servants entrance via that door.'' She indicated the exit point by a casual wave of her hand in its general direction behind her. ''Is that a problem Sargent?''

''It is when you were instructed to stay seated in this room.'' Naylor snapped. ''Who's cook then?'' Naylor asked as he looked at the now remaining five contenders for the murders.

''Well, at a guess, I think that the wearer of the white apron would be a distinct clue, would not you agree Inspector?'' The old woman stated sarcastically.

''Listen love, this ain’t a game...''

''My name is Madam Rose of Heathcliff Rise, and your love I never will be.'' She replied in a scolding tone in retaught.

''So your a proper little Madam then. Just like my young niece. OK cook in the obvious apron, could you go and find the hungry one and haul him back up here.'' He turned smiling towards Madam Rose. ''If that's OK with Madam?''

Cook gave a huff as she waddled through the narrow doorway, having to go sideways to fit through.

''So, any ideas who the killer is amongst you? Or is it going to be the usual deny all knowledge of the situation?'' Naylor asked.

''I can assure you Inspector that we here are not the murdering kind, we are all long standing and close friends that are trusties of the board of Whybreak Manor. Its a charitably concern, believing in the preservation...''

''Not that close now though are you, most are separated by various means of demise. As for preservationists, someone lost the plot with that one love. This may seem like a game to you lot, but myself and Sargent Brown here have to deal with this type of occurrence every day of our working lives, and anyone that thinks they have a chance of getting away with murder on my patch is playing a very dicey game of chance. So whoever the bored board member is who decided to liven up the game will be banged up by tomorrow, believe you me. So, has there been any arguments today, someone not happy with the colour of their sash, thought the butler was a bit sloppy?''

Madam Rose was just about to speak when another interjected from the corner of the room.

''Stanley and James had a slight disagreement concerning Lord Lavenders Victoria Cross, that’s all.''

''And you are?'' Naylor asked. ''

''Peter Grey.''

''And Stanley and James? Who might they be?''

''James Hogarth the butler and Stanley Slater, landlord of the Black Dog public house in the village.'' Peter Gray replied. ''It was a silly argument about the size of the thing. The two of them would constantly argue about all things mundane just to see how far one could push the others buttons. Didn't matter if they both knew they were wrong or not. It was always an exercise of affect towards each other.''

''So were is the medal kept?'' Naylor asked.

''It is kept locked in my husbands safe in his office. Cook is in charge of all the keys so she accompanied them downstairs to unlock it. The medal is never to leave the office.'' Lady Lavender replied in a hushed tone.

The proceedings were suddenly halted as a loud scream reached their ears from downstairs. Naylor told Brown to use the servants stairs while he took the main stairs. He also told the others to stay in the library unless they wanted to get themselves arrested.

Naylor and his Sargent entered the kitchen area at the same time to see the houseboy Oliver on the floor with his back against the Aga cooker. A large meat cleaver was embedded into his head. He clutched a chicken leg in one hand and a plum in the other. On the floor in front of him was a large glass container, now smashed. Its label faced upwards, it read The Colonels finest breakfast mustard. A fruit bowl containing plums had been overturned, scattering its contents over the floor. The cook sat at the table, a look of horror on her face as she wafted a Chinese fan with a picture of a peacock on it in an attempt to cool herself down.

''I just found him like this, dead. And he was such a nice boy, always ready to assist, even when it wasn't his job.'' Cook stammered out her words to the officers unasked question.

Naylor scanned the dishevelment of the kitchen, noticing a handbag on the floor. He went over and picked it up, looking at the scattered contents as he did so. He held up a bottle of tablets towards the cook.

''These yours love?''

''Yes, that’s my bag. I hadn't noticed it over there. I'll tidy it up.''

''No, you go back upstairs with the others. The kitchen will have to stay this way until forensics can get here.'' Naylor waited for cook to exit the kitchen, then silently nodded his Sargent over to him. He held the tablets towards his Sargent. ''See these? They're a new anti cancer treatment drug. I have a mate that's just started on them. They aren’t available on prescription, and if I had to buy these, I wouldn't have much change left out of my monthly wages. We''ll keep this to ourselves until the rest of the lads get here. Lets see it there's any sign of that medal, then we'll start taking statements''

Naylor nor Brown noticed the dark shadow of a figure watching and listening from the servants doorway. The next morning when the police arrived at the Manor, they were confronted by the smouldering remains of the house with no sign of any survivors.


''Merry Christmas son.'' Jenny and Peter shouted out together as their excited son careered into the living room making a bee line towards the mountain of presents surrounding the Xmas tree. He grabbed the biggest one first, was just about to rip the paper away when Jenny called out. ''Unwrap the blue one first John.'' She shouted in glee, hardly able to contain her own excitement.

They both watched, just as excited as John as he made a grab at the bright blue package. The wrapping paper was soon ripped apart, exposing the gift. His eyes lit up as he saw what the present was.

''Wow, the new version of Super Sleuth Cluedo. Thanks mom, dad.'' He ripped away the factory sealing wrapper, opening the lid of the box. He sat on the floor, just staring at its contents, contents that were hidden from his parents eyes. He lifted his head towards his concerned looking parents. ''Its all burnt mom. Everything is melted and burnt.''

Peter rushed over to grab the box, smelling the burnt contents. As his son had stated, all the plastic components had melted, the rest just ash. Both Peter and Jenny were lost for words, failing to offer any explanation. Jenny ruffled john's hair, offering her son some comfort towards his disappointment.

''Don't fret John, as soon as the shops re-open I'll get it exchanged.''

Her son's eyes lit up as he tilted his head upwards to face his mother.

''No rush mom, there's a crime to be solved here.''