The New Tree Tops Hotel
I stood back and allowed my eyes to slowly appreciate this truly wonderful landscape of the National Park-Lands of Zambia, admiring the very presence of the mountain range in the far distance. This was the home of the Tree Tops Hotel. A hotel that was supported off the ground at a height of several meters within the captured area of seven very large trees. The trees were interconnected by wooden rope suspended walkways, each leading to other bungalows and visitor amenities.Kevin, the hotels meet and greet man gave me a wide welcoming smile as he approached. He placed a large banana into my hand and told me to place it in my pocket as I may need it. I stood at the base of one of these very large and age old trees which had a wooden cage type construction hanging from a rope that disappeared up into the canopy some thirty meters above my head. Kevin informed me that this was one of several that where used as lifts to transport the guests up and down from the hotel. Kevin ushered me into the cage and secured the door and stated that he would go and fetch Mr. Bill to hoist me skywards. As I sat waiting I felt a little peckish, so indulged myself with the banana as my eyes took in this most wonderful vista that surrounded me. It was at that point that I had nearly choked on the last bite as seemingly the largest Orangutang in existence ambled its way towards me.
Mr. Bill turned out to be the lift attendant that was going to pull me up to my designated bungalow. Kevin informed me that a Mr. Colin would take my case to my bungalow and I immediately had visions of a very large tortoise with a luggage rack bolted to its shell containing my bag. Mr. Bill started to pull as Kevin went to organize the removal of my luggage and I must admit that my feelings of trepidation concerning the lift attendant was eased as I very gently started to rise skywards. However, this feeling was short lived as the lift suddenly stopped and I was left swinging some four meters off the ground. Thankfully my cry's for assistance were heard and I eventually reached my goal. A tip for the first time visitor. The banana is not for human consumption, but a treat for Mr. Bill to encourage him to complete the desired task. Perhaps, I suggested to Kevin as he arrived with another banana, it would be more prudent for a bunch to be left hanging within the cage so this misunderstanding as to whom was entitled to consume what wouldn't recur in the future.
My bungalow was very well appointed with comfortable looking locally produced furnishings and colourfull fabrics and tribal prints on the walls. There were also several items of pottery to compliment the rooms. I decided to freshen myself up before making my way to the general lounge area for a pre-evening meal drink. As I entered the bathroom I noted two things. The first was the gleaming white bathroom suit with its walls covered in what I guessed would be locally produced ceramics depicting hunting scenes and forested areas. The second observation was that the bath contained the biggest snake I had ever seen this side of a zoo. It had raised its head as I'd entered, hissing as its forked tongue shot in and out of its mouth from between two large fangs. I had tentatively backed out to summon help. I spent a few minutes talking to a Miss Tulip via the house phone and she assured me that Mr. Oscar, as the reptile was fondly known as, was completely harmless and often wandered from bungalow to bungalow in his hunt for lizards and not to worry. I did not gather much comfort from this statement.
There were several other guests sitting around this comfortable looking bar area and I was pleased to be acknowledged by all as I entered and received the offer to join several of the guests at their tables. I decided to take up the offer of a middle aged couple from Alabama U.S.A, John and Mary Carterson. They were on their forth night of the first foreign holiday they had taken which turned out to be an Anniversary gift from their children and had been pleased with the service and stated quite openly that their initial feelings of apprehension concerning foreign food had quickly dissipated as their false teeth had become accustomed to the bush meat dishes that John was eager to point out came from legally culled herds. I noticed that Mary had her leg in a cast. She stated, a little embarrassingly, that she had not realized and they being non drinkers, that the cock-tales contained a very strong locally produced spirit. As the couple had been retiring to their bungalow Mary had decided to re-enact the meeting of Jane and Tarzan but had not factored in the swing of the rope bridge that resulted from her frenzied dash towards her husband as he had attempted to imitate Tarzan's call while beating his chest with two rolled up magazines. The action caused them to collide, resulting in a broken leg for Mary.
The night continued with a very interesting selection of local dishes, tribal music and displays of local traditional dancing. John had informed me that this night was Tribal night which only happened once every two weeks due to the difficulty of gathering the specialist ingredients for the dishes. Unfortunately I had only been informed by Mary after I had finished eating that all the dishes had contained some kind or another of edible insect or grub. The brochure does not mention this fact. I'm of the opinion that anything that calls a bush its home or lives underground should stay there for its natural life span and not end up in a stew.
I have to admit that I had a very relaxing sleep with no unwanted visitors, or so I thought. I'd arisen from my bed and threw open the veranda doors to discover two things laying in wait to greet me. The first was that the mountain range had completely disappeared into a thick mist and secondly, some sort of monkey was sitting on the handrail eating fruit while wearing the shirt that I had laid out the previous night for the next day. It also had a string of colourfull beads around its neck and clutched a pair of Armani sunglasses in its other hand. I had the distinct feeling that I had noticed the glasses on the Carterson's table the previous evening. I later learned that this little chap was called Mr. Sammyboy and not to worry as he never ventured far and my shirt would be returned to me before I departed the hotel.
All in all the New Tree Tops Hotel offers a comfortable and interesting off the beaten track stay, allowing you to ''go native'' in comparable comfort as you enjoy the diversity of the wild life, both in and out of the hotel, while at the same time sampling the sounds, smell, tastes and traditions of this most beautiful country. Two things for your consideration. The first is that it would not, in my opinion, suit the more discerning traveler or very small children as I suspect that there could be a slight chance that Mr. Sammyboy could take them walkabout. I never did get my shirt back.
Paul Addams for the Unusual Hotel Reviewer.
