Some poetry from IP Freely

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Some poetry from IP Freely

Post by DJKeefy »

I notice that you are running a writing and poetry competition to boost membership, but as mine usually contain swearwords I know that Hepzebra lady will just chuck it into the bin, So I would like you to include mine in the ordinary poetry section and not the competition as it has got nothing to do with a man and a donkey cart, just some mutual collaboration by myself and several other lesser known poets. Maybe they will take some inspiration from my poems and start to submit some of their own, but I doubt if they can plagiarise to the same degree as I do.

The Raven by IP Freely & Edgar Alan Poe

Once upon a forum dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many quaint and curious threads that often bore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently crapping, crapping on my monitor.
''Tis some whingeing posts,' I muttered, 'posted on my monitor-
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
As the riots dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow- vainly I had sought to borrow,
From memories past to ease the sorrow- sorrow for the lost Luxor-
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Luxor
Gone and lost for evermore.

Ozymandius by IP Freely & a Mr Shelly

I met a felucca tout from ancient Luxor
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert, have you visited them before?”
Near him, on the road, a Caleche driver stood,
Whose frown, and wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that he knew his tourists well.
"My name is Ozymandias, king of thieves:
Look upon my horse, ye tourist, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains of that perfect holiday,
Just that annoying twat who would not go away.

The Charge of the Tourist Brigade by IP Freely & a Mr Tennyson

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of the Kings
Rode the six tour groups
'Forward, the Thomson Brigade!
Charge for the tombs!' he said:
Into the valley of the Kings
Rode the six tour groups

'Forward, the Thomson Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the tourists knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to view or die:
Into the valley of the Kings
Rode the six tour groups.

Tombs to the right of them,
Tombs to the left of them,
Tombs in front of them
Beckoned and called them;
Obstructed by Alabaster,
Quickly the moved and faster,
Passing the stalls of touts,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six tour groups

Flash'd all their cameras bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Snapping the sellers there,
Charging an army, while
All the guides wonder'd:
“La Shukran” they spoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
while tour guides and touts
Reel'd from the elbow-stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they charged onward,
but not the six tour groups

Abuse to the right of them,
Abuse to the left of them,
Abuse just behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Some did not do so well,
While many a tourist fell,
They that had fought so well
Passed thro' the tourist tat,
Onto the little train,
All that was left of them,
Left of six tour groups

When can their glory fade ?
Not one purchase they made!
While all the world wonder'd.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Thomson guides,
Noble six tour groups.


Image

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Re: Some poetry from IP Freely

Post by Mad Dilys »

Pure Genius! :br
Smile! It confuses people

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Re: Some poetry from IP Freely

Post by HEPZIBAH »

Brilliant!
I only had time to skim read earlier. Just had to come back to savour these offerings further.
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it is what you do with what happens to you.
-Aldous Huxley

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Re: Some poetry from IP Freely

Post by Dusak »

Its just a pity that Gordon 292 has thrown the towel in as his response would have been pure dynamite with this one. Well done IP'y the grate always give inspiration when it is required. Cutting one's nose off to spite the face comes to mind. So come on Gordon 292 lets see you back with the demented crew.

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Re: Some poetry from IP Freely

Post by Lisak »

Bloody brilliant.....more please!
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

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