You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

What is it like to live in Luxor? Share your experiences of Luxor's culture.

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You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by DJKeefy » Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:09 pm

You Know You’re Living in Egypt When… (add your own)

01. You start singing Celine Dion because you heard it in a taxi, at a grocery store, in a cafe…

02. The electricity goes out conveniently while you’re using the bathroom

03. You want to create a homeless shelter for homeless street animals

04. You order food once a week

05. You get propositioned 20+ times a day

06. The bawab (doorman) takes a deep interest in your personal life

07. Everyone asks where you’re from

08. You ask someone on the street for directions, they ignore your question and ask where you’re from

09. Egyptians call you by another European name they know to get your attention

10. There are 3-4 pharmacies on every street, you know just in case of emergency

11. You have serious anxieties that your building is going to collapse

12. The joiner/plumber/builder etc) needs money upfront

13. You substitute Arabic words for English words you no longer remember

14. You light your oven with an incense stick

15. Random Egyptians add you on Facebook

16. People stare at you constantly

17. You hear your neighbor’s children playing happily at 3am in the morning

18. Random people call you by mistake, when you tell them they have the wrong number, they keep calling…and calling

19. There are multiple cafes on every street corner

20. You meet an Egyptian in a microbus. You become pals for the rest of the year

21. You never use to eat McDonalds but the occasional Mickey D’s McFlurry is your new guilty pleasure

22. You have preferences over bottled water brands: Hiyat, Baraka, Aqua Siwa, Dasani, Nestle…

23. Takeef (air-conditioning) water falls on you from buildings above

24. You find foreign objects in your food

25. The cold water produces hot water

26. There’s always some noise coming from somewhere

27. Pedestrians never have the right of way

28. You see more children than you do adults

29. Sleeping in until 2 pm is not uncommon. When you do so, you use the excuse of being culturally immersed

30. When you confront men who harass you, they say you are like their mother or sister…

31. All your P’s have evolved into mighty and powerful B’s like Bizza or Bepsi

32. You’ve grown into a skilled bargainer

33. When crossing the road you look both ways on a one way street

34. You know "1 minute" = 1 hour

35. You come to terms with inshallah (if Allah wills it) and Bukra (tommorow)

36. You think it's odd when you see only 1 or 2 people on a motorbike

37. The contant pipping of horns is normal

38. You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees outside

39. Tradesmen turn up without tools

40. You buy in bulk in case you dont see the product again

41. It's perfectly normal to be awake at 2am

42. You become an expert at killing flies

43. You constantly moan about the internet

44. You don't have to look at the weather before hanging your washing out

45. You NEVER get mail (letters)

46. When an Egyptian rings you they spend the first 5 minutes asking if you are well (hamdullah)

47. When finishing a call to an Egyptian, they say bye 17+ times

48. It's now second nature that your underware does not go on the washing line

49. You gets sweets for your change

50. Time does not matter no more.


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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by carrie » Mon Apr 14, 2014 7:43 pm

"I know you live here so I will give you Egyptian price" and then hear an astronomical amount and it doesn't surprise you.

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by Lisak » Mon Apr 14, 2014 8:25 pm

I LOVE these, so funny..and so true!!!
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by Dusak » Mon Apr 14, 2014 9:42 pm

... your taxi driver stops for petrol with a cig clenched in his teeth, or while traveling in the taxi they suddenly raise the electric window that you elbow is resting on, nearly stabbing yourself in the eye with your cig.

You give exact measurements for a pair of curtains to be made and they are eight inches too short so they suggest lowering the curtain pole.

At the shop check out they think a queue is a long thin stick you hit a small ball with.

The dentist is half way extracting a tooth but stops to answer his mobile.

You pay your water and electricity bill at the door but they walk off with your 1 pound change and your too embarrassed to shout after them for it.

One look brings on guilt at the check out when you just happen to mention the seven tins of tuna are for the cat.

A long meaningful conversation with an Egyptian on the street is ''where you from, where you go, know how much?'' ''F*** off.''

A short meaningless conversation is ''lucky man.'' ''F*** off.''

A female street beggar can give birth twenty times a year.

The only safe time to use the street as a thoroughfare is when you are being transported in your coffin.

Only Egyptians can carry on shopping in a power cut when you can't even see the shop.

They will wash their cars in the street, leave them there for a week then drive off... :up
Life is your's to do with as you wish- do not let other's try to control it for you. Count Dusak- 1345.

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by Bombay » Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:28 pm

You cannot watch "Fiddler On The Roof" anymore because the song "If I were A Rich Man" pisses you off :cry:

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by BENNU » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:01 pm

Nineteen of them tell me that I am in Egypt.

I know that it is time to fasten your seatbelt on Egyptair and that you are about to land in Luxor - when people around you start shouting in their mobile phones.

:moby:

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by Bombay » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:05 pm

BENNU wrote:Nineteen of them tell me that I am in Egypt.

I know that it is time to fasten your seatbelt on Egyptair and that you are about to land in Luxor - when people around you start shouting in their mobile phones.

:moby:
When they get their luggage down into the aisle before the reverse thrust is off!

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by DJKeefy » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:57 pm

You know that cigarettes are cheaper than most food products.

You start waving at buses to stop them

You worry if your gas will run out

People you dont know ask you for your phone number

You know "can I help you" can mean something else

you have to ask the cost of everything

You wonder if it's been raining when you see all the streets wet

You're always looking on your walls for geckos

You say "La Shukran" (No Thank You) before anyone says anything to you.

You start cutting words out of a sentence when speaking in English to other Egyptians (I go shop)

You wish for rain most days

When you can hear an Egyptian on a phone from a few streets away.

When you can hear music from a mile away blasting out like it's just next door.
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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by Glyphdoctor » Tue Apr 15, 2014 6:56 am

I would say only 17 of them are true for me from the original list.

And about cutting out words from Keefy's list, that is so true! I cut out the "I" when I am writing about something I did, e.g. "Talked to Marie last night." And not just with Egyptians, but with everyone.

Sometimes it's best NOT to ask the cost of something. Just hand a little more than what you think it should cost (e.g. something that should be 7-8 you give them 10) to the person and they will assume you know. I only ask the cost when I want to decide whether to buy something or not. If I'm already set on buying it I just hand over what I think it should cost.

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by Sdo » Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:20 pm

You complain to the neighbour when his 10 year old son tells you to f... o and he gives him the key to his motorbike as a reward!!!

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by carrie » Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:22 pm

You go to the local market feel faint, inundated with offers of tea, water, somewhere to sit in the shade, offers to take you to the hospital, lift home with shopping.

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by Bombay » Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:31 pm

carrie wrote:You go to the local market feel faint, inundated with offers of tea, water, somewhere to sit in the shade, offers to take you to the hospital, lift home with shopping.
Anything to get out of taking a taxi :D

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Re: You Know You’re Living in Egypt When…

Post by HEPZIBAH » Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:41 pm

You sneeze and everyone around you insists you must go to hospital and assumes you have 'Pig flu' because your English, Christian and eat pork!
Image Experience is not what happens to you;
it is what you do with what happens to you.
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