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A light-hearted section of Jokes - Text Games - Only In Egypt Photos and Videos - Brainteasers and General Fun Stuff to while away the spare minutes of your day.
Moderators: Horus, DJKeefy, 4u Network
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Bargaining
by newcastle » Thu Mar 30, 2017 11:26 am
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I tried to sell my Thomas the Tank Engine train set at an antiques shop today.
You would have got more for it if the fat controller wasn't missing. Said the assistant.
Yeah, you're probably...
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the fat controller isn't missing, he is now entrenched someplace in the UK stuffing his gob with meat lies. :lol:
I'm a bit slow today....that's a better punch line :lol:
lies....pies....flies :tk
- 2 Replies
- 230 Views
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Last post by newcastle
Thu Mar 30, 2017 11:47 am
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20 famous last words.
by Dusak » Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:37 pm
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1. Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.
Said by: Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
2. I can’t sleep
Said...
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Put it in the basket. I'll read it later
The Duc de Pommfrit on receiving a note as he was about to be guillotined. ;)
Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d....
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- 294 Views
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Last post by newcastle
Wed Mar 29, 2017 1:26 pm
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In parliament....May 2019
by newcastle » Wed Mar 29, 2017 11:14 am
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Westminster 20th May 2019....from our Political Correspondent.
Britain's new PM, David Davies, rose to his feet in the Commons today to denounce the terrible scenes in Malaga airport as the final...
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Another Brexiteer who can't see a tongue-in-cheek joke when it smacks him in the face :lol:
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- 278 Views
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Last post by newcastle
Wed Mar 29, 2017 11:24 am
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Cat Food
by newcastle » Tue Mar 28, 2017 9:03 am
I decided to try out a new range of cat food.....for my cat, I hasten to add.
Unfortunately, the cat wouldn't touch any of it. :stp
It appears it's an atheist.....like me :ct
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- 240 Views
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Last post by John Landon
Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:41 am
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Renewing your passport
by newcastle » Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:31 pm
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This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address...
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Scousers are great fun.. Back in 1970's like Glasgow, I probably would have given both places a wide Berth in all honesty.
Both Cities have been awarded City of Culture. Glasgow underwent a major...
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- 601 Views
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Last post by John Landon
Sun Mar 26, 2017 12:23 pm
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The five Just men.
by Dusak » Wed Mar 22, 2017 1:20 pm
''So, when do we start?'' The first man asked.
''Up to you, whenever you like.'' the second man responded.
''I don't know about that,'' the third man stated in a cautionary tone, ''Better to take...
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- 226 Views
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Last post by Dusak
Wed Mar 22, 2017 1:20 pm
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Every time
by John Landon » Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:20 am
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I Like to take pride in my car, and when ever possible keep it clean.
This happens every time without fail..... Why ? Do birds have a sense of Humour ? :tk
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the revenge...... 8)
- 9 Replies
- 494 Views
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Last post by John Landon
Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:25 pm
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Good news & bad news
by newcastle » Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:13 pm
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client.
Saul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news.
The art collector replied, I've had an awful day. Give me the...
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- 261 Views
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Last post by newcastle
Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:13 pm
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Titties are not pockets
by HEPZIBAH » Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:49 am
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With Egypt in mind...
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I hate to think where she kept the small change. :sk
Probably in her purse. :roll:
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- 305 Views
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Last post by Brian Yare
Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:33 pm
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The perils of the wine bar
by newcastle » Tue Feb 21, 2017 9:24 pm
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Never make a political speech when you're p*ssed :snig:
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Now I know why my relatives are moving back to the UK and giving up their residency in the USA. :cg
I guess they value their lives more than the financial wealth, fancy homes, and luxury cars they...
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- 350 Views
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Last post by John Landon
Wed Feb 22, 2017 6:49 am
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- 10 Replies
- 821 Views
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Last post by HEPZIBAH
Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:43 pm
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- 1 Replies
- 230 Views
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Last post by DJKeefy
Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:06 pm
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- 2 Replies
- 352 Views
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Last post by Horus
Fri Jan 20, 2017 7:57 pm
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- 293 Views
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Last post by Horus
Fri Jan 06, 2017 4:21 pm
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Mobiles
by Major Thom » Wed Dec 14, 2016 6:57 am
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We are holding a mobile phone staring competition in Gorf at 12pm on 31st December 2016. All are welcome, but if you are doing something else we will understand. All MZ's welcome.
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Schools will remain important because they bring people together and (in theory) teach them to socialise. Technology tends to keep people apart, at least physically, but has many uses.
- 11 Replies
- 1626 Views
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Last post by Brian Yare
Fri Dec 16, 2016 10:34 am
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60's Groups remaking old songs to raise cash
by Major Thom » Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:30 am
Mrs Brown you've got a lovely walker - Hermans Hermits
Get by with a little help from my dependents - Ringo Starr
How do you mend a broken hip - Bee Gees
First time ever I forgot your face - Roberta...
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- 568 Views
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Last post by Major Thom
Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:30 am
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Brian
by newcastle » Fri Dec 02, 2016 3:16 pm
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!
Passenger: Who?
Cabbie: Brian Sullivan. He's a...
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- 379 Views
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Last post by newcastle
Fri Dec 02, 2016 3:16 pm
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Thief alert!
by newcastle » Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:29 am
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To the IDIOT who tried to rob me last night, you dropped your phone while fleeing and you were still connected to Facebook!
I have not called the police yet , I'd rather talk to you directly!...
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:( Link broken.
They must be trying to hide :roll:
- 4 Replies
- 451 Views
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Last post by newcastle
Fri Dec 02, 2016 11:52 am
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Irony
by newcastle » Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:35 pm
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Oh...the sweet irony :lol:
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:lol: :lol: We have a similar low bridge in a town not far from me, it would regularly decapitate a double decker bus even though every bus had a this bus will not pass under Glebe Street bridge...
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Last post by Horus
Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:56 pm
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Another Brexit song
by Horus » Fri Nov 25, 2016 1:38 pm
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Here's another pre Brexit one that sums up many peoples sentiments ;)
Again it is rather crude, so be warned :up
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:))) :)))
- 4 Replies
- 1245 Views
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Last post by Horus
Fri Nov 25, 2016 4:32 pm
