One of the tradesmen was chatting to me about $dollars today, so I said how much ? he mentioned an understandable figure.
I said 'was it a black dollar ? an old scam, so off he trots, comes back with...

So this is finally, after much debating, drinking, debauchery, ect, our Xmas Card...........
Virgin upon the Ridiculous
to all our friends, wherever you may be, love, peace & a king-size rizla,...

The Reindeer are a little uncooperative at present.. :cool:

Hopefully Santa will have them ALL rounded up by the 24th... :cg

Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes

Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs

Lady: How much per pack
Man: £6.00

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack cost £6.00 and you...

A man married a Devon Woman ans when they passed over the threshold he told her she must clean the house every day, make sure the ironing is up to date, make sure his clothes are hung up in the...

I lived in the West End of Glasgow for three years. A Great place, and REALLY Great people. I loved their humor, rebellious nature and openness to other people.

Anyhow, that's me laying the...

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:...

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

4. STAY OUT OF THE WATER....

The Mahjongg Dimensions games have stopped working when using the new flash update 11.5 :( If you are still using flash 10 or below everything should still work fine.

Some groups of humans can be mistaken for zombies:

The elderly, the homeless and especially the Elderly Homeless.
But no group bears such an uncanny resemblance than Runway Supermodels..

With...

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The...

Life's too short for long explanations,
well actually life is not short, it's the longest thing YOU will experience.. :cg

Changed My I-pod name to Titanic : It's Syncing now. :cool:

Atheism is...

Government fact Number 12:

3 out of 5 smokers will die.

I assume that the other 2 become immortal ? :cg

Does anyone know where James Bond 007 gets his botox done? it is fabulous! On Sky News today it is celebrating 50 years since Ian Fleming penned the first book. To me that makes James at least 70...

f you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end.......

NOTE:

Please take time to read this excerpt slowly.

If you pay attention to the...

Here are a few sayings hopefully some forum readers may want to add their own....

The lift does not go to the top floor, ------------- referring to someone who is not thinking right
Have they had...

All the ducks are swimming in the water...

....:cool: