Punography ~~
I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned...

And to think we use to have to hold it up to the light! Remember the Kaleidoscope when we were kids?

This is really incredible ! How amazing that someone could not only create this, but make it to...

Have some tissues ready to wipe away your tears!

And you thought women's fashion could be weird...

1. The wife was counting all the 1p and 2p pieces out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself She's going through the...

I was thinking, ( usually a dangerous endeavour for me,)
I like to watch the banter unfold on this forum, and if I pair off that pasttime with a thought I had recently regarding some strange couples...

Last November he said your Xmas present is coming from America, I said so where's my birthday present then ?
Anyhow him being a really famous 'skint sculptor said over a few Yuletide beers.....
So,...

One of the tradesmen was chatting to me about $dollars today, so I said how much ? he mentioned an understandable figure.
I said 'was it a black dollar ? an old scam, so off he trots, comes back with...

So this is finally, after much debating, drinking, debauchery, ect, our Xmas Card...........
Virgin upon the Ridiculous
to all our friends, wherever you may be, love, peace & a king-size rizla,...

The Reindeer are a little uncooperative at present.. :cool:

Hopefully Santa will have them ALL rounded up by the 24th... :cg

Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes

Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs

Lady: How much per pack
Man: £6.00

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack cost £6.00 and you...

A man married a Devon Woman ans when they passed over the threshold he told her she must clean the house every day, make sure the ironing is up to date, make sure his clothes are hung up in the...

I lived in the West End of Glasgow for three years. A Great place, and REALLY Great people. I loved their humor, rebellious nature and openness to other people.

Anyhow, that's me laying the...

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:...

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

4. STAY OUT OF THE WATER....

The Mahjongg Dimensions games have stopped working when using the new flash update 11.5 :( If you are still using flash 10 or below everything should still work fine.

Some groups of humans can be mistaken for zombies:

The elderly, the homeless and especially the Elderly Homeless.
But no group bears such an uncanny resemblance than Runway Supermodels..

With...

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The...

Life's too short for long explanations,
well actually life is not short, it's the longest thing YOU will experience.. :cg

Changed My I-pod name to Titanic : It's Syncing now. :cool:

Atheism is...