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QUIZ

1. When did ''Little Suzie'' finally wake up?
(a) The movie's over, it's 2 o'clock
(b) The movie's over,...

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.
Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite
cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland.
It was absolutely...

Muslim Brotherhood Warning!

This morning, the Muslim Brotherhood warned that if the UK and United States
continues meddling in Egypt, Libya, and otherMiddle East hot spots they
intend to cut off the...

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom...

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since high school.
They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige...

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language became boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some...

Just can't stop twerking today! :lol:
Miles Cyrus has a lot to answer for...I'm turning into a twerkaholic hahaha

Sex after Death!!

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and ...
inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was
that there was no after-life at all....

ISLAM: If **** happens - its the will of Allah

CATHOLICISM: if **** happens - its because you deserve it

PROTESTANTISM: Work harder or **** will happen

MATERIALIST: Whoever dies with the most...

No insults intended, just my imagined interpretation of what some forum members user names really mean.

BENNU:- Bountifully Enthusing Natures Natural Ubiquity.

HEPZIBAH:- Happily Enduring Peoples...

I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large
chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and
said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, I wish I had...

The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland ..

One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking...

SCOTTISH WEDDING
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled....
Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.
The bartender was almost...

(GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!)

There were 3 good arguments that

Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother.

2. He liked Gospel.

3. He didn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally...

In a crowded library

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded library.

He asked a girl in a university library: Do you mind if I sit beside you?

The girl replied with a loud voice: I...

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.

The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews...

Classic !

-Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a...

KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you...

10 Finkers

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.

He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor...

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank
and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door with the loot one brave customer grabs the hood
and pulls it off revealing...