An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding,...

A testimony to true friendship is...

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.

His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in....

Caption:

Let me see if it was good

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.
I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In...

“Lexophile is a word used to describe those that have a
love for words, such as you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna
fish , or to write with a broken pencil is pointless.
A competition to see...

Interesting memo:

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked Is my time up? . . . and God said, No, you...

Hi Honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'

‘No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh,...

I couldn't help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties
while sitting at a bar having a beer.

One of the guys says to his buddy,
Man you look tired.

His buddy says,
Dude I'm exhausted.
My...

WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS !

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal-

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed.'
- US. Air Force Manual...

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband!

A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that...

What deep thinkers men are ... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife...

Knox Knox

Who's there ?

Interpol... !!! Now open the fricken door... :cool:

Unlikely I know, since the Extradition treaty between the good ol US of A' tends to be non reciprocal, a one way...

Raisin Bread

A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant...

NOMINATED THE BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR

A Romanian arrives in London as a new immigrant to the United Kingdom.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
Thank you Mr....

Just saying......................

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,' Lillian , you should have remained a virgin..'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter )

I had a rose...

Matthew goes into a confessional box and says Bless me father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman.

The Priest says is that you Matthew?

Yes father, it is I.

Who was the woman...

Betcha Didn't Know....

Early aircraft's throttles had a ball on the end of it,in order to go full throttle the pilot had to push the throttle all the way forward into the wall of the instrument...

Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!
Delta 351: Give us another hint! We have digital watches!

________________________________________________________________________
Tower: TWA...

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and nothing was going right. The elves were complaining about not getting paid overtime. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and the sleigh was...