I read this elsewhere today and I couldn't help but think it could so easily have been written by one of our members here.

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM WOOLWORTHS Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths...

I think its high time we appointed a new cabinet in these trying times, heres my starter for ten.

Tourism Minister - DR Who

Attorney General - dsaxelby

Ambassador to Great Britain - ????!!!???...

Sit back and enjoy just for 17 minutes the glory that is Freddie Frinton You lucky people You .... :cool:

Ps: I was a waiter once 'silver service, The Stafford, rothschilds, sean connery, sir...

Medical definitions that you won't find in the dictionary Medical dictionary jokes

Artery = The study of paintings.
Benign = What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria = Back door to cafeteria....

Some nice Blond jokes for you.

DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Freeway when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned...

At last !!! I think I have found a fight that I could actually Win.. :cg

Last Night, I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor.
At first, I was afraid; I was petrified:

And finally, My...

Go to Google, then in the search bar, type in

askew

No need to do anything else...

You're Welcome.. :cool:

Just for Dr Who.

Hand job
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, I had this...

NORWEGIAN VIRGIN WEDDING

Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch.

Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. As soon as...

A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by
the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot
solicitor was questioning Paddy.

'Didn't you say to the...

Marriage (Part I)
Macho man married good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any...

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. How is dew...

A NEWFOUNDLAND LOVE POEM

(And who said Newfoundlanders weren't romantic?)

Of course I loves ya darling

You're a bloody top notch bird

And when I say yer gorgeous

I means every single word...

Sometimes words are not sufficient and pictures tell the story better:

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and...

A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her son's birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

Standing behind the counter...

The Jewish Elbow

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301 . There...

For all you Golf tragics and all the others too. Gotta Love the Scots.

A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office to
arrange publication of a death notice for her recently
deceased...

An OAP coffee morning

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at Costa Coffee.

My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift

this cup of coffee, said one....